it's been 9 months since you passed away
I can barely cope. He was told he had six month and he lived shy two days of six months. I lived on chicken nuggets and pop tarts for the first year. Ive had only two positive dreams about him since my passing and each were overwhelming in the realization that the weight of the grief had been temporarily lifted. 2. When he died the entire family was crushed especially our Mama. There are times when sheer terror for my future without her just paralyzes me. Sadly you and I are far from alone. So many comments Ive read hit so close to home. We are all different and you will find your path somehow through this grief. For me, it is in those tiny slivers of time when I feel most alone and heartbroken. Couple of months of disbelief and struggle. Jackie, your words hit the mark, I lost my husband 18 months ago, no warning just woke up to finding him taking his last breath, I called 911, started CPR after 20 min. I started CPR and called 911 I thought they never get there, but I think now I knew he was gone, I was begging him not to leave me. The first year, I was in a fog, very forgetful, sad, depressed & feeling lost. Specially because many times he said to me if I didnt get back with him he didnt want to be here anymore. Wanting to die in order to join the loved one. Express your emotions and honor your loved one's memory through art. I pray the memories of her life will last forever. I dont have any desire to socialize and I also have my dogs and the one that my husband lived so much just lies on the couch and looks out the door like he is expecting to see him come home. I was her care I try to be positive and move forward. I empathize with you. Do I see a doctor, join an old unhappy womens group, I just want to be through being lonely and miserable. Im coming up on 2 years in April. Do not look for it, you already have it. He died suddenly in war. What really helps is to volunteer helping others and stay busy. we lost most of our family. Ill never forget how were so proud of me being the first one in our family to graduate in a tough University as a Magna Cum Laude and as I made it thru my young years into adulthood it became apparent that sisters/siblings represent the past present and future. "A year without you has felt like an eternity. I know what you are going through. I just feel it,s getting worse. Wish that it would get easier but its not because life right now it is so hard. I keep telling myself that he would want nothing more than for me to live out my life in a way that is rich and full. I wish peace for all our hearts. Of course, other times the pain is raw and I can not imagine going forward without her. So much ahead-so many great plans. Ive been struggling but its been manageable. I just want five minutes with my mum. I have family near and it helps. We were together for 22 years. He came to me in a dream. Truth is, he would be angry if I didnt try, and try hard. My story is like yours, the most sudden pulmonary embolism of the love of my life. A year without you is almost too much to bear.". Maybe its a person who is also floating. Its still there. I feel so alone and just want to go home to him. I will say that it is a wonderful feeling, but also, I still miss my husband. What you just said describes how I feel about my husband who passed on from this life in July of 2020. I have an idea. Key Takeaways. Date Calculator - Add or subtract days, months, years. I cant imagine going through thanksgiving, Christmas and the new year without her sweet smile. YOU NEED QUALITY VISITORS FOR YOUR: griefincommon.com ? Seriously! It was after the first week that I began to fear she wouldnt make it. There are no words to describe the pain! Its easier but than again it isnt. How I just want 5 minutes with him to tell him he was the kindest most gentlest man I ever knew. We started a church 8 years ago with a small group of people and our lives were filled with helping others and spending time with our kids & grandkids. My prayers are to hopefully things will get easier. Stay busy. Im sorry. 4) Mom, your memories are my life's only solace. But heres my two cents. All in all he was fortunate t I be taken fast. Stay strong during this difficult time, and know we are always here for you. Death is such a natural part of life but its so cruel what iteaves behind. You have left me a huge hole that no-one else can fill in my heart. I lost my husband 2.1/2 years ago to a vile terminal horrendous disease called MSA (Multiple System Atrophy). Ive grown in ways I did not know I needed to. He was just a well God given person put together. I know exactly what you mean. Initially, I felt shocked. If you're a painter, sculptor, or woodworker, create something each year. I lost my parents, & two sisters and the pain could not compare with this. I keep asking myself inside and out how can this be. He lives through me and I am blessed and honor to say that I love him the way I did. Thank you. Therapy has really helped integrate my anger. My spouse died suddenly also. I am 50 years old, he passed at the age of 53. I just felt he was near. Death cannot kill what never dies" - William Penn. Noreen, Its just about a year since my husband of 55 years died. Happiness will come but the saddness is always there.. but you learn to smile again. I have been dating again although I was not looking I started to date an Ex that I have older children by, I Dont feel right and feel guilty at times but it helps sometimes. Its definitely tough every year and Im on year 4. He looked after me when I was young and we had such conflict too. My Lukie died in his sleep in his bed at home. His death has opened wounds of the loss of my parents. Jackie, you spoke the words of my heart. Others think you are strong and doing fine. I dont have to write anymore. Life is not stagnant. Then Mama died 14 months ago pancreatic cancer. ========================. I found an app called headspace that has a grief course of 3 sections of 10 days each 30 days of mindfulness/ meditation sessions. These days are what made the memories so hard to deal with. There is such sadness and emptiness. I lost my wife on December 2017 to cancer. Of course I can, it just hurts. I weep and wail and feel as though it happened yesterday. I found The Five Wishes online to be a friendly way to opening the discussion of dying. So everyday I get up and miss them both terribly. Be kind to yourself. Dont worry, I would not hurt my son or my kitties by hurting myself. I go to the grave site daily. Thank you for sharing, Its been 2 years and tomorrow 1 month. Well see how the third year is. I lost my sister 19 months ago and I find myself thinking okquick remember as much as you can so you dont forgetits the acorns. Worse even if you can believe it. I have good, great days, then.. ___days.I thank Gid fot the precious memories.. The message she left for me was, to take it day by day. This week for no particular reason has been extremely hard. Either we can learn from these . . This is my second year without my husband of 15 years. For now, thats all were able to do. You Get Really, Really Tense. If only I could land in some port, any port, perhaps I could find my footing again. That is a revealing statement and I think your church, which is a family, will prove to be a lifesaver. Especially the what ifs and could I have done more for him and remembering his courage during cancer treatment even at the time of his passing. The loss is so new, the first months can be spent in a blur of shock and disbelief. That is the way to go- not go on day after day in torture and remorse suffering a lonely death of your own soul. He was 45 when he passed I was 43. I try to stay very busy . Blessings to you all and I pray that your suffering is eased a little each day and replaced with memories and blessings of joy. He came home after his wife treated him terrible and would not look after him. I was about fifteen when he went into the service he was three years my elder. We use to play and sing together all the time. I am 54 now. We were together for 3 years every day n night. We were married 60 years. Breathe. I cant escape it. We struggled to get answers until she was diagnosed with an extremely rare brain disease. Early on I dehydrated terribly and could not think clearly at all. He was only 53 when he passed. A year had passed. I work to subsidize my SS. I will never be a grandmother she worked at pet smart. Scars are only ugly to people who cant see. He did always know who I was and also his daughters even at the end. I still cant believe he is gone. I am so fortunate that I have our wedding video. My soul. well lo and behold, who knew the second year would be a living nightmare. To those who are grieving too, Im sorry for your loss. it stands incomplete like our time together feels. Freind I have no interest in life. Sometime I just have the urge to pack up from my city and move but o know it want take the pain and emptiness I feel. I find it heartbreaking to see their grief and I feel embarrassed about having a boyfriend who has brought some sun into my life. We had bought a house, were remodeling it, and then going to sell the house and move out to the country. I miss you so much. Love and thoughts to everyone who have spoken of the pain, we sadly have to suffer. Trying to picture myself living another 30 to 40 years without him feels impossible. 14 months ago we were enjoying lunch together at home as we had for years. Just do what u are comfortable with and dont use this time to begin new friendships/ activities unless you want to. I wish you peace. Do I wont to be in a realationship again. All the best to all of you. Any advise? In readdmetion 10 yrs from 1989 ,,2018. Hang in there. Its Avery emotional jernory to walk thru its ok to feel what you feel cry the empty feeling the lost the quite house her voice j dont hear any more. I look up at the sky and think of my husband all the time. I know now that he is not coming back I will not be able to hug him again or have our nightly conversations before bed. They call that your new normal. I feel that its not fair to her or myself. I lost my father some years ago and that took a while to resolve, so I am praying that the process of grief will become eased soon. Just keep living until you feel alive again, My life died October 26 2016 I dont have no desire to date. Our 21 year old twin daughters just got back from a movie and ran in to get me. Please know that I will keep all of you in my prayers and hopes for your own grief process. He didnt need to say a word his eyes and actions were everything. i have so little motivation to work. The what its are going to kill me. com. Theres a spot right around where my heart is that just aches and aches and aches. presidential tweets can be entertaining or they can spin me downward as i dont have my hubby to discuss this craziness with. For a while, all you can do is float. Not sure what God has in mind for me yet, so I just wait and wait. I have come to realize for myself that I ultimately need to move rid myself of too many artifacts of our life. Love to everybody with the same feelings. I feel exactly the way you do. Pam and Holly- Yes exactly we simply and sadly exist. I dont want to go anywhere but have to. We were together for 27yrs married 19 yrs. There is no comfort or happiness for awhile and then the first time you find your self laugh at something you feel guilty. Eric, I have her ashes in the kitchen, where she loved to be. Its been 2years and 2 months and some days it feels like yesterday all over again. But this Thanksgiving and Christmas is much harder without him. Im in a stage where Im desperatly trying to remember everything about the time we had together. That magic one year mark does not cure your hurt. I was with my husband since 17 years old and 46 years married. It's been 9 months since my sweet Louisa passed away. I dont say it will not be hard going into the future and I will not say tone is a healer. I try to take steeps forward. I remember the meltdown in my life, Christmas day.realizing that I would never have another Christmas life my previous 20 years, I cried so hard, I didnt think I could have any tears leftbut they just kept coming. Its been 1 year since the love of my life died of a heart attack. Sudden death is what they called it, his kind and gentle heart just stopped beating. Cancer was the thief that stole him from me and has forever changed my life. I dont know at the moment what the day will provide. I feel totally broken, and none of my friends understand, they just get in with their lives in a way I can never do again. He was truly my best friend. He was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me life was finally good. xx. I am into year #2 . Oh Holly If only I could go back and do things differently but it still wouldnt change the outcome. But I loved you, and always will. Its not easy. I lost my wife to cancer 22 months ago. Some guidance and encouragement from a person who truly understands the all-encompassing nature of grief and how if affects every moment and every part of life could be just what you need to move forward. But now I know how bad her struggle was and wish that I would have seen it as that and had more compassion and understanding instead of worrying about how it affected me i should have seen how it was affecting her. I wish Good would hear my prayers and take me away. Wew!! Im sure that everyone on here can relate to that moment. I just want to be happy again here in Wichita ks. And my eyes leak out of the blue.I walk past a mirror and dont recognise who I have become. I take diazepam about twice a month when I feel Im about to go through an attack of anxiety. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at OHare. I am up and down. I was 32 and I feel like I went to sleep and woke up to find that Im about to be 35. A grieving cat may go off its food. I am in Year #2 and do know how these thoughts can creep in..But sucuide leaves so much suffering for those that remain. married for nearly 35 years and even though I have a Life is so unfair. Thanks for this. But I still have so many questions. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life alone and I know my wife cant come back. He listens. Also took her mind of it to for a bit. And especially to those whove lost a spouse, Im so sorry you are in this rotten club with me the one nobody wants to join. Peace be with you all. That makes me mad in itself that I cant compare this loss to others for so many different aspects. I have been off work for a month and finding hard to cope the thing that keeps me here is my grandkids.So for me the second year is worse maybe cause l was numb because l lost so much in one month all l do at the moment is live each day hoping tomorrow will be better. 6 more people passed including my father. Just a few months away we both believe in God and his Universe. For example, if DATEDIF (DATE (1969,7,16),DATE (1969,7,24),"D") returns 1/4/1900, the Date . We had such a good relationship as Im sure yours was. i wish all of you well, and know i ache for you and your losses. Her kindness, caring, compassion, patience and understanding are all qualities shared by my wife. It did get easier and the positivity was flowing for about 3 solid weeks but then the awareness that I am alone hit even harder. I lost my wife a year ago. Wendy, i lost my mother/best friend 16 months ago and feel the same, nothing will ever be the same again and we are all just a little spot in time. I was a nurse for 17 yrs, and I could see the signs. Im at month 16 and grieving seems to be taking over my life. With what I took, it should have been my time. We lost our 16yo child to suicide four months ago. The fact remains I just dont know what to do most of the time. I am a musician I play guitar a song that I came across hit me like bricks its called, Something You Get Though by Willie Nelson look it up. He died within days of me telling him. and still he doesnt appear. I have a son who is 13 from a previous marriage, and he is the only reason I stick around. A blessing one night though. I took a lot of pills with the intent to never wake up. My new challenge going forward. i am finding it more difficult with each passing day . I lost my father 18th month ago sudden stoke he was with me I thought he was suffering from a low and I was treating him for that as he was type 1 diabetic. They then called us to get in the room where he was, he was there lying on the bed surrounded by doctors and nurses, he was hooked on tubes a lot of tubes with the machine that was pumping real hard, my oldest daughter that was with me was screaming, we love you so much dad, you can do this etc. Very hard for us left behind. She is keeping me going. I am 75, married 44 years to the sweetest , caring man one could ask for. Feel like Ive gone back to the early days of losing him. 1st 6 months was a blur whilst I navigated other peoples concern and my childs own grief. Nothing seems to bring us any comfort or happiness. I find hard to go on with life. There is always an emptyness in my heart. I dont have a single friend in the same boat so it can get lonely even in a crowd. A bomb went off in our home and hearts. 5. She, or rather we , battled cancer for about 4 years and it was a roller coaster . I just want to let you know that, youre not the only one that feels this way, and that youre not alone. I lost my husband 12/16/2016. Its been 16 months since my husband of 51 years died. But, as Kevorkian explains, you will begin to heal over time, which will make your grief more bearable. I lost my dad n 2009, my mom 2011, & most recently my husband 2016 after 35 yrs of marriage. But without them especially losing Kimberly so suddenly I went into flight mode making funeral arrangements this time solo. You can see them coming. Ill always miss him. For me, that reuniting may be when Im shipped back to the USA to be buried alongside him. He had pancreatic cancer, and had 9 months to live after his diagnosis.
Do Probation Officers Carry Guns,
Articles I